Understanding the Inner Landscape of Your Flawed Character

Hello, beautiful Souls,

Today, I am talking about a topic I know too well: Codependency.

I’ve experienced, many times over, the deep pain of loved ones, clients and colleagues, where substance or emotional addictions are ever-present and are controlling their lives. It is also why I created the set of 12 Flawed Character Archetypes in my typology—But today, I am sharing some of the hidden collective archetypal patterns in all 12 flawed characters; Codependency is indeed a form of control that has many faces.

In the vast story of the human experience, a realm is often overlooked yet profoundly influential—the domain of our flawed character. As you journey through life, navigating the terrain of your promises, passions, and purpose, you inevitably encounter the shadowy facets of your being shaped by past lives and deeply ingrained trauma. In this exploration, we uncover the patterns of our flawed character and the transformative power of self-acceptance and healing.

Embracing the Shadow

The first step in this odyssey is acknowledging and embracing your flaws and shadow aspects. Though often relocated to the recesses of your psyche, these elements hold valuable insights into your journey and growth. By confronting these shadowy dimensions without judgment, you create space for healing and transformation.

Patterns Across Lifetimes

Just as ripples spread across the surface of a pond, trauma reverberates through the depths of your Soul’s journey, spanning across lifetimes. Behaviours and patterns manifest in your present life may originate in long-past experiences. Through introspection and self-discovery, you can uncover the threads of your past lives, gaining profound insights into your current challenges and opportunities for growth.

Healing Trauma Across Time: 

Trauma knows no bounds of time or space; it echoes through the corridors of your Soul, shaping your perceptions and interactions with the world. By delving into the depths of your past lives, you unearth the roots of your suffering and pave a path toward healing and wholeness. Through meditation, therapy, and self-reflection, you travel the landscape of your innermost self, reclaiming lost fragments of your Soul.

Support and Empathy: 

On this journey of self-discovery and healing, it’s important to recognise you are not alone. Trauma is a universal experience, and the journey toward healing is often fraught with challenges. By extending compassion and empathy to yourself and others and seeking support from trusted friends and mentors, you forge connections that can sustain you on your path toward wholeness.

A New Narrative and Timeline

As you open up to the majesty of your past lives, you’re presented with an opportunity to rewrite your narrative and redefine your timeline. Acknowledging past pain points and turning points as catalysts for growth and transformation, you reclaim agency over your life and chart a course toward a brighter, more expansive future.

Fusion of Imperfect Aspects

In embracing your flawed character, you recognize the resilience and adaptability that have allowed you to navigate the complexities of existence. Rather than destroying or denying these aspects of yourself, you strive to integrate them into the fabric of your being, celebrating the richness and depth of your human experience.

Unravelling the Patterns of Codependency: 

Alongside exploring your flawed character, it’s essential to delve into the dynamics of codependency. This complex phenomenon, characterised by excessive reliance on relationships and enabling behaviours, can hinder your journey toward self-discovery and healing.

Breaking Free: Embracing the Adult Archetype

Breaking free from codependency requires a shift towards embodying the Adult archetype—a state characterized by autonomy, responsibility, and healthy boundaries. This journey involves introspection, boundary-setting, and the courage to confront entrenched patterns. 

Peeling Back the Layers: 

Codependency transcends mere dependence; it weaves its tendrils through various aspects of life, from romantic entanglements to family bonds and professional interactions. The Crisis Triangle, also known as the Drama Triangle—an interplay of Victim, Rescuer, and Perpetrator roles—serves as a framework for understanding the dynamics of codependent relationships.

• The Victim typically involves a person who feels helpless, oppressed, or powerless. They may rely on others to meet their needs and may exhibit passive or dependent behaviour, seeking validation and support from external sources.
• The Rescuer is a person compelled to “save” or “fix” others, often assuming the rescuer role. They may offer excessive help or support to the Victim, sometimes to the point of enabling their dependency. Rescuers may obtain their self-worth from being needed and struggle to set healthy boundaries.
• The Perpetrator is occupied by individuals who exhibit controlling, manipulative, or abusive behaviour. They may exploit the vulnerabilities of both victims and rescuers to maintain power and control in the relationship. Perpetrators may use tactics such as gaslighting, intimidation, or emotional blackmail to assert dominance.

All three roles can become entrenched in codependent relationships, maintaining cycles of dysfunction and preventing healthy communication and problem-solving.

Breaking free from the crisis triangle involves:

• Recognizing these roles and patterns.
• Establishing boundaries.
• Fostering autonomy and self-responsibility.

Therapy and support groups can provide valuable resources for individuals seeking to break free from codependency and cultivate healthier relationships based on mutual respect and equality.

Overcoming the Victim, Rescuer, and Perpetrator Cycle: 

• Codependency involves embracing the role of the adult archetype. The Adult archetype represents a balanced and empowered state characterised by self-awareness, accountability, and assertiveness. Unlike the roles in the crisis triangle, which are based on dependency, control, and manipulation, the Adult archetype embodies autonomy, responsibility, and healthy boundaries.
• In the context of codependency, embodying the Adult archetype means taking ownership of one’s thoughts, feelings, and actions. It involves recognising and acknowledging your needs and desires, as well as respecting the autonomy and boundaries of others. Rather than seeking external validation or relying on others to fulfil your needs, the Adult archetype prioritises self-care, self-respect, and self-empowerment.
• Embracing the Adult archetype also entails cultivating practical communication skills and conflict-resolution strategies. Instead of falling into the patterns of victimhood, rescuing, or perpetration, you in the Adult role ( Not Parent) engage in honest and respectful dialogue, assertively expressing your needs and boundaries while also listening empathetically to the needs of others.

Moreover, the Adult archetype fosters a sense of agency and resilience, enabling individuals to navigate challenges and setbacks with grace and resourcefulness. By embodying this archetype, you can break free from codependent patterns, cultivate healthier relationships, and lead a more fulfilling life based on authenticity, integrity, and mutual respect.

Heart to Heart and Blessings Abound, Elizabeth

Thank you for reading my Blog Post